Not Even Lost
Russell Degnan

Where have all the people without any prevailing sense of direction come from? I'm used to helping people find their way, particularly near the youth hostel, which doesn't exactly jump out at you. But in the past week, twice, I've had people who haven't even been near where they are going. Still they weren't the most lost people I've ever met...

Wrong suburb, strangely disinterested

Waiting to go into Camy's [1] the person behind me in line interrupts to ask where Elgin Street is. "In Carlton?". "Yes". "Um, it is nowhere near here, you need to get on the tram and go up past the university" "oh. yeah, that's right".

They stayed in line as it moved slowly towards cheap dumpling goodness.

Wrong suburb, strangely disorientated

Near the Haymarket roundabout of death, back when I walked home, I get stopped by a disheveled and disorientated guy on Peel St. "Excuse me, but do you know where Newmarket is?" "That way", I point, losing him to that direction before I could add that it was a bit far to walk.

Maybe it wasn't.

Right line, wrong direction, wrong suburb

On the 55 tram, almost to Domain junction, something twigs in a young family: "Excuse me. We are trying to get to the zoo?". Sympathetically, I point out that they need to be going in the direction we are not. "It's a fair way from here, but you'll see it, eventually".

It was raining when they got off, but I guess they got there.

Right road, wrong direction, wrong state

Royal Parade, just near the sign that says "Welcome to Melbourne", a thickly accented driver, between puffs of his cigarette, stops me to ask for directions. "Excuse me, but which way to Alb-ny?" "Albany", I ask, thinking St. Albans or some suburb I hadn't heard of. "Yes", he says, grabbing a map to show me.

A map of Australia.

"Albury". "You need to go that way", I say, pointing into the maw of Sydney Road.

"It's about four hours though."

[1] And someone needs to point me in the direction of another outrageously cheap dumpling restaurant. Lining up for the type of service you get in Camy's is vaguely wrong.

Passing Fancy 17th September, 2007 14:47:42   [#] [4 comments]